“We accept the love we think we deserve.”

— Stephen Chbosky

Above all, I hope you know that you are very much deserving of love. You work hard! And I value you deeply. But there’s something you need to hear, even if you’re not sure you deserve the harsh truth headed your way. This may not be the usual tone I take, but it comes from the same intention I always stand by: to help and support women business reach their goals and stay sane while doing so! I do it because I respect the hell out of the women who refused to settle for either work or parenting– one or the other. We want both, because our dreams are much more nuanced than some people gave us credit for.

But that’s a massive undertaking. You didn’t choose an easy path. Not only are there obstacles and unsure footing, but long stretches where there really are no road maps or signposts to let you know you’re still headed in the right direction.

There are days when you get so overwhelmed, discouraged, and frustrated– and as much as we’d like it to, the world doesn’t owe us a reprieve or consolation.

Creative entrepreneurism isn’t for the faint of heart, and motherhood even less so.

The one, absolute constant to depend on is your mindset. If you have the attitude that you will succeed and flourish, then you will.

If you spend time looking for something or someone to blame for not having the life you want, you’ll never get it.

I think this is something we all know, deep down. Whether we consciously acknowledge this truth is a wholly different matter. I don’t blame you for not wanting to hold yourself responsible when every day has a full set of responsibilities already assigned to you. Especially as mothers, when we wake up and go to sleep worried about the small, blossoming lives that we have the happy burden of nurturing, protecting, and shaping for their own successes.

Haven’t we always been told that we can achieve anything we set our minds to?

So why don’t we believe it?

If you want to meet someone to pitch your big idea or make a business connection, reach out to them. Don’t worry about what they might think or if they’ll turn you down. Deal with the actual events as they happen in the present, or you’ll anchor yourself in hypothetical disappointment.

If you want to start a website, log on to SquareSpace or Wordpress right now and just start. If you’re telling yourself that you need a concrete business plan, a web developer, and marketing team in place before you take the first step, you’re making excuses.

Happiness is a choice.

It’s comprised of the little ways we decide to view the world and all the situations we face. It’s seeing the value in negative experiences, but also wanting to improve them of our own accord. If your instinct is to wait for someone else to make you feel better, you’re depriving yourself of the pride and satisfaction that comes with being your own hero. The world doesn’t often take pity on those who actively choose not to help themselves– or others. So don’t wait for the world to offer you the opportunity of a lifetime, or for fate to decide it’s your turn to win. That outcome isn’t a matter of chance, but of working hard and insisting it will. Be a self-fulfilling prophecy in the best way.

Helplessness is a myth.

It’s a sickening emotion that we can fall victim to if we buy into its reality. There is always something you can do to make things better than they were before, even if there isn’t a precedent already set. How many success stories feature a person who, against all odds, shocked the world with a seemingly ridiculous idea? How many of the world’s greatest minds were told they’d amount to nothing– and had to believe in themselves when no one else would?

You can spend another year reading about these revolutionary underdogs in viral blog posts and 60 Minutes specials. Or you can tell yourself right now and everyday that follows, “I will see this through. I have big dreams and I will make all of them happen.”

It’s an intimidating prospect, no doubt, because it means that there’s no one else to blame if you fail. That’s why you have to remove that as a possibility. Change your inner dialogue until you’re your own biggest proponent and cheerleader and emotional benefactor. Ignore concepts like modesty and realistic-ness. You don’t have to tone down your goals or place boundaries on how far you can go and how successful you’ll be. You’re entitled to the world, and anyone who’s threatened by your ambition and confidence needs to be reevaluated.

Make 2017 the year you’ve never had before, and the one you’ll look back on as the start of a new era. Expect messiness and complications, but don’t fear them.

I agree that we accept the love we think we deserve.

I hope to always get the advice I need.

And I’ll always work for the life I want.

I wish the same for you.